By Jean Cloons – Sovereign Independent UK -
A renaming tussle between several groups of people has broken out staking a claim on the name Large Hadron Collider.
One group of international bankers claims it should henceforth be called the Large Enron Collider as it was these financiers that stumped up the taxpayers money causing great suffering to so many and yet had the tenacity to shape-shift all the money into the settling ponds of The Bank for International Settlements.
A second group, coming from the scientific camp claims the Large Hadron Collider should be renamed the Large L. Ron Collider after the brilliant science fiction writer and founder of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard. A world meeting of Scientologists was convened at the home of celebrity low-carbon Scientologist John Travolta last Tuesday. A fleet of Jumbo Jets descended on his humble private runway for the occasion, and taxied up to his eco-home. Founder Hubbard received his training from the world’s most rational and down-to-earth scientist Aleister Crowley.
A third group coming from the Spiritualist camp was quick to put in their claim to rename the Large Hadron Collider. Spiritual Scientist Sir Oliver Lodge they claim, is the true father of the science. Ghost whisperer Sir Oliver Lodge invented the spark plug and spiritualists say the Large Hadron Collider is a glorified spark plug. Every vintage motorcycle enthusiast they say, knows that the Lodge spark-plug is superior to its rival, the Champion. If the bike splutters and conks out you just have to unscrew the plug and reduce its carbon footprint with a bit of fine sandpaper.
In the meantime the fundamentalist Royal Society Cult and their white-coated priesthood pushes forward dogmatically utilising the best of computer graphics that taxpayers austerity money can buy. This Royal Theosophical United Nations Blavatsky cult pushes boldly forward to find God in a spark-plug. What’s a trillion between fiends they all say. Meanwhile, the rest of society wants their money back to put a crust of bread on the table.
The renaming row continues between the financiers, the Scientologists, the Spiritualists and the Royal Society gatekeepers. The obsolete general public knowing they are being scammed remain unimpressed. Those left pulling their weight in the social boat couldn’t care less about Higgs the bosun, Hadron, Enron, L. Ron, Crowley, Blavatsky, Hawkins, Dawkins, Travolta or Lodge. They probably all belong to the same lodge anyway – The Grand Depopulation Lodge.