Sir Robin Malarky CBE PIE ( retired BBC Climate Expert )
Its been quite a week for the climate change cult, busy busy busy at the IPCC. Busier even than the poptastic good old days when me and me old mucker Filthy Jimmy used to go camping with the boy scouts.
The IPCC with the help of the radicalised global climate priesthood and “a nice helpful chap from the British government” been busy cooking up another report complete with attendant media storm.
In a treasured and rare parliamentary show of common sense :
Tory MP Peter Bone said: ‘It is always the same with climate change. If the facts don’t suit them, they change it to suit them.
‘A Government official interfering with an independent scientific report is ridiculous. What you want … is what the independent scientific community thinks – not what people want them to say for their political purposes.’
Ed Windmill Davey a committed radicalised climate Talibanist fearing the very sky would fall in said:
‘The science has spoken … This evidence builds the case for early action … We cannot afford to wait.’ A DECC spokesman said climate change impacts could be ‘catastrophic’, adding: ‘These cannot be underestimated and the UK Government, as well as other countries, are seeking to make sure this is understood the world over.’
Climate radical Davey was backed earlier this week by a clearly hot under the dog collar former Archbishop of The
Church Climate of England religious sect. The Ex bishop has led a secret life working undercover as a reknowned expert in the field of climatewarmoooology he also has a direct line to God, who of course really controls the weather with large levers and magik spells that control the thermostat of the Sun.
God being supreme of course always has the last laugh and just loves a prank poking fun at ex employees and gullible muppets who take themselves far too seriously.
Below our undercover photographer managed to get a quick photo in before see levels rose and inundated the entire area. Davey and Williams were reported by a chuckling Jehovah the only remaining witness as “last seen floating off into the sunset on a rising tide of bullshit” washed from nearby meadows and swept before the waters .
In the absence of any miracle or EU directive a team of drones in bright yellow jackets were “urgently consulting leaders” and outside “experts” to deceide whether to form a risk assesment team or not in order to determine how they would assess the risk of forming a risk assessment team and thus finally achieve a consensus of inaction.
Emergency rescuers were standing by on a nearby mountaintop until the newly formed Sea of Iniquity parted. Risk assessment teams had been earlier deployed prior to building an ark and sending out a search party pointing out the potential risks of falling skies and further climate change would pose to would be rescuers. They were expected to finally deploy from Gordon Browns constituency in teams of two on foot as planes would not be available this century.
Government were not expected come up with any practical measures before March 2027 but are expected to demand a larger departmental budget and unlimited expense accounts urgently.
Although earlier today in Whitehall an overpaid and portly spokesman did come forward to inform the public “that this catastrophy was all their own fault” and that the end was nigh unless vague and unspecified radcial remedial action was undertaken urgently.
Following his instinct our reporter tracked the spokesman back to the office where he was later observed snoozing contentedly.